Habit 4: Think Win-Win

“How do I build win-win relationships?”  Synopsis:  Stephen Covey calls this the habit of interpersonal leadership, necessary because achievements are largely dependent on cooperative efforts with others.  He says that win-win is based on the assumption that there is plenty for everyone, and that success follows a cooperative approach more naturally than the confrontation of win-or-lose.

7 Habits Overview post HERE.
Habit 1 Overview post HERE.
Habit 2 Overview post HERE.
Habit 3 Overview post HERE.

If you are ready to challenge yourself to achieve better effectiveness in your personal and interpersonal life – please read on.

Habit 4. Think Win-Win.  This habit is based on the principle that effective, long-term relationships require cooperation by seeking mutual benefit – solutions that allow everyone to succeed.

You first need to assess your mindset because your mindset influences your interactions – positive or negative – with others.  You should identify the mutual benefits.  What is your win?  What is their win?  Then you can make deposits into others’ Emotional Bank Accounts.  The Emotional Bank Account is a metaphor for the amount of trust that exists in your relationships.  Just as you make deposits and withdrawals with ordinary bank accounts, you make emotional deposits and withdrawals with your relationships.

There are five dimensions of the Win-Win scenario:

  • Character. The foundation of Win-Win
    • Integrity. The value we place on ourselves.
    • Maturity. The balance between courage and consideration.
    • Abundance Mentality. There is plenty out there for everybody.
  • Relationships. Courtesy, respect, and appreciation for the other person and their point of view.
  • Agreements.Cover a wide scope of interdependent action.
    • Desired results
    • Guidelines
    • Resources
    • Accountability
    • Consequences
  • Supportive Systems. Reward systems must reflect the values of the mission statement.
  • Processes.The route to Win/Win:
    • See the problem from another point of view.
    • Identify the key issues and concerns involved.
    • Determine what results would constitute a fully acceptable solution.
    • Identify possible new options to achieve those results.

I take this principle as a fundamental way to see all interpersonal relationships. Is there a way where you both can come out ahead at the end of an interaction? If there is, that’s usually the best road to take, and that’s the real value of the whole “win-win” thing.

Next time I will introduce Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood.

Until then…


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